🔗 Share this article

Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has long been the safe haven for daily publications, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to find out that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room rather too directly, and was rescued from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college to access the restrooms during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably in the quarter of a century since. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Today's Statement

“We stood there in a lengthy line, clad merely in our briefs. We were Europe’s best referees, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|